It’s 10:30PM, and I just saw a giant roach climb the sidelight of the French Doors that open onto the front deck. I think these suckers are getting bigger and bolder every week. This one disappeared at the top of the sidelight; it is probably lying-in wait to drop from the eave onto whoever next ventures out. Susan needs to take the trash out to the curb later, and I’m not going to tell her because she would likely make me take the trash bin out to the curb. The driveway is steep, and besides, who wants a roach dropping on them as they go out to do household chores?
I don’t know how they’ve gotten this big. It could be radiation, I suppose. Amazon has Geiger counters for less than $500. Maybe I should order one and check the radiation levels around the house and neighborhood. That’s how the ants in THEM got so damned big (and the earthworms at Chernobyl in GODZILLA as well). Or I suppose it could be that their growth is the result of a toxic chemical spill like the one that made the giant spiders in EIGHT-LEGGED FREAKS. I may need to call the EPA to have them check out the soil and groundwater. I hope they don’t feel unable to help now because of the most recent SCOTUS rulings.
Maybe these roaches are actually just people like the character in Kafka’s Metamorphosis or perhaps THE FLY? If so, they are most likely Conservative Evangelicals finally revealing themselves in their most authentic form. If that’s the case, I’m going to need some real fire power – a flamethrower that spews napalm will likely be necessary for the job.
For the moment, I am going to rely on Kedi and Maia whose exquisitely sensitive hearing and keen hunting instincts make them reliable sentinels protecting us from a nocturnal roach attack.
Good Kedi. Nice Maia.