And the Agony of Defeat is one of my favorite phrases from Olympic event coverage. Victory tastes so sweet and defeat so bitter, one might say. I think that I like this line because I have experienced my fair share of both, and you most likely have as well. Hardly anyone is always victorious, except possibly Serena Williams, but even she has faced defeat now and then. I have never seen her win or lose but graciously – like a champion.
I’ve heard it said that it isn’t whether we win or lose that matters but how we play the game. It’s the sort of philosophy that one should expect to hear in a brutally competitive society such as ours. This particular bit of wisdom is meant to curb cheating, I think. I think that more important than that admonition is how we face victory and defeat. It is as important to be humble in victory as it is to be magnanimous in defeat. That may sound weird to you but follow my reasoning.
When we are victorious, it is easy to revel in our success and to celebrate our triumph over our opponents. Success feeds our sense of personal worthiness and superiority. Victory tempts us to indulge arrogance. To me, humility in victory means recognizing that our opponents’ efforts were no less than our own – that we each put forth our best to the challenge. When we experience defeat, it is easy to wallow in our disappointment and indulge anger. Defeat tempts us to indulge feelings of entitlement; we gave it our best, after all. To me, magnanimity in defeat means the same thing as humility in victory – that we recognize that all gave their best to the challenge.
The Ecstasy of Victory and Agony of Defeat are on my mind this evening because of today’s Jan 6th committee hearing. It is clear that Donald Trump, unlike you and me, cannot countenance defeat. A defeat isn’t an isolated event that can be followed later by a victory. For Trump, defeat marks one as a loser. And Trump fears nothing more than being a loser. I think that his early life damaged him profoundly. His fear of defeat is so great that he readily violates the admonition regarding “how we play the game.”
And it is that willingness to cheat in order to create the illusion of winning that makes Trump a LOSER.