I get unsolicited emails just about every day – especially during political campaign season. I bet everyone does. Act Blue, Move-On or some other organization sells its donor list to candidates’ campaigns, and then there ensues a flood of requests for donations from people you have never even heard of. Most of them are from political races in states other than our own. I’m not an ATM; so, I simply unsubscribe. Besides, even when I make a donation, I invariably get another solicitation from the same candidate the following day.
The rest of the time, the majority of the solicitations are from organizations – charities, for the most part. And then there are the advertisements. This company promises to make you richer than Mamon. That one offers you indestructible windows – useful to have particularly when people are throwing stones. Another wants you to compare their insurance rates and benefits to whatever insurance you already have, and so on. I try to unsubscribe from them as I get them.
The past week, I have gotten solicitations from transformationinsider.com. The first of them was an advertisement for God’s Viagra – an all-natural health aide for whatever ails your love life (I’m not making this up). I deleted it but forgot to unsubscribe. Today, I got another for God’s own Ibuprofen promising an all-natural anti-inflammatory remedy to rival any NSAID and without any of the side effects. I decided to unsubscribe.
After a fruitless search for the link needed to unsubscribe, I realized that the link was rendered in a font size that required the use of an electron microscope to find. I rotated my phone to landscape mode, expanded the text with my fingers on the touch screen, and clicked the link. The link took me to a page where I could choose my subscription option(s). I choose UNSUBSCRIBE.
Unfortunately, this particular snake oil provider did not ask me why I was unsubscribing. If they had provided with me with a text box for me to give my explanation, I might have said:
“I don’t often need ED or anti-inflammatory medications, but when I do, I prefer Satan’s own ED remedy and Satan’s own NSAID. The former provides a devilishly good time, and for the latter, who knows more about eternal inflammation than Satan?”