Several years ago, when our omniscient and omnipotent Texas GOP Legislature and Governor trifecta decided to make carrying a concealed gun on Texas University campuses legal, some students armed themselves in protest. Their weapons of choice? Sex toys!
Students were seen walking across campus with large, latex dongs strapped to their backpacks. I think that some sex toy manufacturer made them available to protesters free of charge. I was tickled by the imaginative response to the campus carry gun law. It was an in-kind response – open carry didoes, as it were. What I think that I missed in this wonderfully creative protest was the equating of guns to penises. The students were showing that they had bigger penis substitutes than those who carried guns as their figurative or metaphorical phalluses.
Years later, in the wake of more mass shootings – some random, others anti-gay, anti-black, or anti-Semitic hate crimes, and elementary school mass killings – Second Amendment fetishists at our nation’s Capital decided to remove their American Flag lapel pins and replace them with AR-15 pins.
Every time another mass shooting made the news, we heard the same NRA-fetishizing refrain, “This isn’t the time to talk about gun control. People need time to heal.” Congressional ammosexuals kept sporting their AR-15 pins.
So, I think that lawmakers who think it is time for honest gun regulation should take a hint from the students at Texas universities. They need to start sporting dildoes, dongs, vibrators, and other sex toys on their attire – either in the form of actual sex toys or at least as pins depicting their sex toy of choice.
When the AR-15 crowd responds, as surely they will, the sex toy wearers can respond with appropriate retorts. “I’m wearing this to honor you and the gun lobby.” Or maybe, “You wear an AR-15 pin because you have a tiny penis; mine is bigger.”