I have heard that no one knows us better than our siblings – if we have them. Our parents know us as children and then later as adults, but they almost never know us in the twilight years of our lives. Our children know us as their adult parents and later in our final years, but they never knew us as children ourselves. Our siblings know us throughout all stages of our lives except for the few years that separate us in childhood and the few years between us at the end of life.
That’s the nature of biological families – families based on consanguinity (blood relations). But there are also families of affinity – marriages and deep friendships as well. Those of us, among the most fortunate, have both. I have both a biological brother and a brother from another mother.
My biological brother, Ed, and his close friend, our brother from another mother, Fred, and I have been brothers since I was about 14 years old. We forged strong bonds in adolescence, and despite the twists and turns in our lives over the following decades, we have remained close.
Our lives have been punctuated by Failures and Defeats as well as by Successes and Victories. We have all followed a few dark, blind alleys and then returned to more illuminated paths. We have each achieved the milestones of adulthood – a job, a career, marriage, children, and even retirement.
Fred accompanied Susan and me on a camping trip to the Big Bend in 1978 during Medical School. He also attended my graduation from Medical School in 1979. He attended our wedding in 1982. He joined Susan and me to see the 2017 Total Solar Eclipse in Casper Wyoming. He visited Ed’s home in Corpus where the three of us recorded the Annular Eclipse of the Sun on Oct 14, 2023.
In the last few years, our friendship has been maintained mostly in the digital ether. We have shared online science articles, astronomy lectures, many emails, and texts almost every week. It is hard to imagine a future without an email or text from Fred about an astronomy meeting, a new comet, or some other upcoming astronomical event.
Yet, that is exactly what the future holds for me and for Ed. Fred’s journey among the living has ended, and those of us left behind will feel his absence in different ways. I hold the memories that we made together during the past sixty years close to my heart. I know that they will bring me smiles, laughter, and comfort in the days that lie ahead.
I hope that such memories serve the same purpose to all those whom he met on his journey.