“100-day free trial. We’re so sure you’ll love our product that you can return it for a full refund after 100, 210, or 365 days if you are not 100% satisfied.” I’ve seen these these ads in regards to a variety of bed mattresses. I’ve been looking at bedding the last few months. You’ve heard or seen these yourself; I’m sure. And, I’m equally certain that you could offer many more examples.
The idea of the satisfaction guarantee goes back further than you might think. It has a long history that covers not only storied American brands but also fly-by-night flimflam operations. It means either, “Our word is our bond,” or not a damned thing. Only in America? Nah, probably everywhere that there is an honest or dishonest shekel to be made.
But what about things more expensive than pots and pans, knives, bedding and other household goods? What about cars? Is there a satisfaction guarantee for a new car purchase? I can’t speak authoritatively on the matter, but I will tell you that more than a decade a ago, my local Subaru dealership salesperson invited us to take a brand new 2006 Forrester home for the weekend. “Drive it around. Fill it with the stuff you would take on a trip. Drive it as if you were going on a get-away. If it doesn’t work for you, just bring it back.” It was the best 100% satisfaction guarantee that I could have asked for. The Forrester trial was excellent, and I bought the car. In the following two years, we bought a Subaru for Susan and another for our son. Twelve years later, I bought another Forrester from the same guy. I guess that’s the point of the 100% Satisfaction Guarantee – customer loyalty.
What about health care? Is there a place for 100% satisfaction guantees there? I’m glad you asked. Here’s an example. Pfizer had decided to offer such a guarantee on its cancer medication (Crizotinib) for non-small cell lung cancer. If it doesn’t work for you after a three month trial, you and your insurer get the full price back! How much are we taking about? Chump change really, only $57,000 give or take.
Other drug companies have offered similar guarantees. For example, Novartis offered a guarantee on tisagenlecleucel (Kymriah) which cost $475,000 back when the guarantee was first offered. I think they may have reconsidered their price structure since then. Here’s the skinny.
I know that you want to ask; so, I’m going to save you the trouble. I would not have my family pay 1/2 million dollars a year for medicines to keep me alive. Frankly, I do not believe that I do enough good to the world to be worth that much money. Nonetheless, a new queen-size mattress from various manufacturers is worth $800-$3500, and I want the damned 100-day satisfaction guarantee for that price!