If you have had children, you likely remember the Terrible Twos. It’s that period in child development when the brain experiences emotions that it does not know how to control. It takes a child several years to learn to regulate emotional experiences in a way that is productive rather than counterproductive. I think of the Terrible Twos as Essential Emotional Dysregulation. The word essential, in this instance, means that the condition is a normal part of development rather than a disease. The other two words are self-explanatory.
Sometime before or around age six, children learn how to sooth themselves when they experience strong emotions – fear and anger being, for many, the most disruptive emotions. Of course, other emotions such as sadness can also be disruptive. It is little surprise that we don’t begin elementary education until age six.
Self-soothing doesn’t end at age six for some of us. Some of us have to learn and practice various calming techniques during our adult lives. The most common reasons for self-soothing in later years are affective disorders – depression and anxiety. I’ve mentioned before that I live with claustrophobia that is probably a manifestation of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) – the most common affective disorder of later life. It isn’t severe or disabling, and I manage it with self-soothing – conscious autosuggestion, if you will.
This brings me to rageaholics. Some individuals seem to have not learned to manage their own anger. Even when their unregulated anger brings deleterious effects on their work and relationships, they lash out without restraint. This is Donald J. Trump. Today’s Jan 6th House Select Committee testimony gave us a glimpse into his lack of emotional self-regulation. Normal people who are in charge of their emotions do not allow their anger to erupt in physical violence. They don’t throw dishes at the wall. They don’t up-end tables. They do not push or shove or try to take control of a car that another person is driving. They do not physically menace the head of the Secret Service. These are things that only individuals with Pathological Emotional Dysregulation do.
This kind of Emotional Dysregulation may be the result of a disease processes or a personality disorder. Examples of the former are Fronto-Temporal Dementia, Alzheimer’s Disease, closed brain injury, and other traumatic or neuro-degenerative disorders. Examples of the latter are personality disorders, including Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
I have no idea why Donald J Trump behaves as he does, but I know that he does not behave as most of us expect a healthy, normal, and emotionally balanced person to behave – as you and I behave under most circumstances. Maybe he never really mastered the self-soothing that all young children must learn in order to be successful members of a complex society. Maybe he learned that rage has its own rewards – tangible and intangible.
Whatever the case, it has made him an evil individual.