In this case, “the thing,” is marriage. It’s been a source of conflict and gnashing of teeth among Conservatives for years. “Marriage is between a Man and a Woman,” they have argued. How can two men or two women marry? That’s an abomination – at least according to those in the Mormon faith despite having once been adherents to marriage between a man and many women – polygamy.

My friend Cornelio posted an item that quoted a Muslim cleric commenting on sexual encounters between shepherds and their sheep. It argued that a sheep used for a man’s sexual satisfaction was unclean and thus had to be destroyed, but that the shepherd was free of sin since the sheep was not a woman. Sigh, give me a break!

When I read that post, I recalled that bit from Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex in which a doctor meets a male patient who is a shepherd and who has cultivated a sexual relationship with a sheep in his flock. Later, the doctor (none other than the incomparable Gene Wilder) winds up involved with a sheep who he dresses in a garter belt and stockings – a very fetching ensemble. The relationship ends badly with the Doctor on skid row nursing a bottle of Woolite.

All of this has pointed me in the direction of definitions. Here they are.

Monogamy: A relationship or commitment between one man and one Ewe.

Polyamory: A relationship or commitment between one man and multiple Ewes.

Complex Marriage: A relationship in which multiple men and Ewes have “knowledge” of one another.

This latter notion of Complex Marriage is something that Heinlein explores in his novels including The Moon is a Harsh Mistress and Citizen of the Galaxy. I recommend both novels as excellent SciFi – I expect to see them on a list of banned books sometime soon.