At the Gallows

There’s a wonderful quote from Marcus Aurelius that is featured in the movie Gladiator, “Death smiles at us all, but all a man can do is smile back.” That’s not exactly the quote from the movie, but the gist is correct. I think of this as the basis of gallows humor.

I thought of it this afternoon as I listened to Nicole Wallace interview former Zelenskyy aide Igor Novikov. Novikov allowed as how, under Russia’s threat of using tactical nuclear weapons against Kiev, Ukrainians had decided to have a mass orgy in the town square should such an attack occur. I think of such proposals as Affirmations of Life even in the face of certain Death. Such is Mother Nature. The citizens of Kiev were advised to obtain potassium iodide from their local pharmacies to have on hand to take as a cancer prophylactic in the event of a Russian tactical nuclear weapon launch against the city.

Just FYI, you can order potassium iodide from Amazon without a prescription, if you worry about such things – better to order it a few weeks too early than even an hour too late, I say. At my age, I don’t really give a fock, but you may.

You will probably recall that one common radionuclide in the fallout from an atomic bomb is I-131 – a radioactive form of iodine that can accumulate in the human thyroid gland leading to either the destruction of the gland or to thyroid cancer months or years later. Taking the stable isotope of iodine in potassium-iodide (KI as is found in iodized table salt) can saturate the thyroid with non-radioactive iodine and keep it from taking up the radioactive form I-131. Cool, no?

So, Igor Novikov is relating to Nicole Wallace how the people of Kiev are coping with this Putin-esque threat of tactical nuclear weapons. He says that he and many of his fellow Ukrainians are standing in line at a pharmacy waiting to ask for their prescriptions and other meds. When it comes his turn, he says that he asked for what he needs, and he responds in a loud voice, “I need Potassium Iodide tablets and Condoms.” He says that his fellow Ukrainians in line collapse in fits of laughter.

That’s what Marcus Aurelius meant; I think. Sometimes, circumstance forces us to gaze into the abyss. There, we see Death smiling at us, and all that we can do is to smile back.