M’Baku, formerly the Great Gorilla King of the Jabari Tribe, became the new Wakandan sovereign in the wake of the death of King T’Challa of Wakanda. Wakanda’s new king ascended to the throne with the help and alliance of the Elders of Wakanda’s River and Mining Tribes.
M’Baku challenged for the Wakandan throne on a platform of returning this tiny but powerful nation to its traditional values. He has long been fond of saying that too many young Wakandans, affected by the values of the outside world, scoffed at tradition.
In his first sweeping proclamation, King M’Baku declared that CRT (Comparative Religion Theory) would no longer be taught in Wakanda’s schools. “Our outreach efforts have resulted in the contamination of Wakanda’s traditions. Where our people once revered The Ancestors, they are now taught about Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, and a host of other beliefs of colonizers that have no basis in our history. The Ancestors are Real,” he adds.
It is not clear whether teachings regarding the Talokanin belief in Kukulkan, that oceanic world’s Plumed Serpent God, will also be forbidden, but palace observers believe that it too will eventually be banned in Wakanda’s classrooms. A similar fate is likely for the Titans, Olympian, and Asgardian gods.
All books that mention non-traditional beliefs have been removed from Wakanda’s many libraries. The teaching of non-traditional beliefs is now punishable with incarceration, loss of tribal status, citizenship, and even banishment in the most egregious cases. It is little surprise that critics of M’Baku’s proclamation refer to it as, “Don’t Say Pray.”
“We must protect the Primacy and Purity (the PP) of Wakanda’s culture, King M’Baku has said.
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This post is meant as satire in criticism of our own constipated, parochial views of education. No conservative snowflakes were melted in the creation of this blog post.