Amazonian Amnesia

If you think that it sounds like a disease, you are correct. It’s the sort of thing one might think is a viral infection transmitted by mosquitoes – something akin to Zika, Dengue, or maybe some kind of nasty meningoencephalitis, but it is not.

This particular malady occurs among individuals who order stuff from Amazon and forget about it after said stuff does not arrive within 48 hours. When the stuff finally does arrive, one is left saying, “I had totally forgotten I ordered this crap from Amazon.” I have a case in point.

Last night, as I was making the shopping list for this evening’s dinner, I mentioned to Susan that I really wanted one of those 16-oz bags of unshelled, roasted, salted peanuts that the Central Market had carried in such abundance a year or two ago. I haven’t seen them there or at HEB in a long time. Susan reminded me that I was going to Randall’s on this particular shopping trip, and that they might have them. I added unshelled, salted, roasted peanuts to my list.

I go to Randall’s every few weeks because neither Central Market nor HEB carry Rosarita’s refried beans, Van de Camp’s Pork and Beans, our favorite exotic flavors of Haagen Dazs, Charmin toilet paper, and a few other items. On my shopping trip today, I found everything on my list except the peanuts. Oh, they had peanuts in bags, peanuts in plastic containers, and peanuts in every form imaginable save for unshelled peanuts. Merde!

I came home, unloaded the groceries and later wandered out on the deck and noticed a box left at the front door. It was addressed to me. I took it into the house and opened it. What did it contain – a five-pound bag of unshelled, roasted, salted peanuts! That’s Amazonian amnesia.